It's a quiet week here at Lake Walkathon.
Only days after saying I had a decent week of training, I'm already backsliding. A comparison, day-by-day:
Saturday: 6 miles in 54 minutes with 4x400m hard. [Previous week 6 in 51] A difficult day; cold, windy, rainy and running after a big meal.
Sunday: 9 in 78 with 8x50m sprints. [Previous week 8 in 71] Not easy, but an improvement.
Monday: 3 in 24 [Previous week 3 in 24] Sleeping badly; achy. Okay run, but not feeling happy about it.
Tuesday: 6 in 51 with 2x1200m (4:55, 5:05)-400m recovery. [Previous week 6 in 50 (4:56.4:56)] Felt drained at the start (slept badly again). Humid and windy, compared to last week's run.
That's what happens: I have a good week and then expect an even better one and, when it doesn't happen, I get discouraged, even though there's solid reasons for slightly worse runs and... two of the four runs are as good or better!
That has to be some sort of mental disorder.
I've been going to a number of races, partly to see people I only see when racing and partly to see where I would be if I raced. At the Get in Gear 10K, I saw a lot of my old cronies and they all seemed to be running well. Those I always beat were running 38 minutes, those I usually beat were running 35 and those I never beat were running 32 [where else do 50 year-old guys run 32 minute 10K's?] I'm in shape to run just under 45 minutes, and given my occasional overachieving, I might run 43.
That seems pathetic. My all-time worst 10K, run on a sprained ankle, was 41 [I'm not counting trail 10K's]. People are telling me I should race anyway, just to be part of the crowd. They're telling me to embrace not being fast any more and just run to finish. They're telling me I'll be back in shape in no time.
And I'm saying: SHUT THE F*** UP!
It took years to get this slow and it'll take years to recover and I'm at the age where I can expect to slow more every year. It's depressing and frustrating. But it's like a Samuel Beckett play - you want to shout at the characters to wake up and realize how awful things are, not to adjust and accomodate to each new horror.
Well, that's not where I expected this post to go!
I'll train, I'll try to get back in shape, but you can't make me think everything's just rosy. Okay... on to today's run.
Added: Stopped whining, went for a run, it went well enough, my mood got better.