Tomorrow's my birthday. The plans I had are quickly falling apart due to weather (which happens 4 out of 5 years on my birthday). So what do I want for my birthday? How about a laugh?
Here's (a bad) one to prime the pump:
There's a bar at the top of a skyscraper. One guy there turns to another and says, "You know, I'm the architect that designed this building. The thing I'm most proud of is all the built-in safety features. The best thing is that, if you jump out a window, the updrafts will carry you right back. C'mon, I'll show you." They go out onto a balcony and the guy jumps. He falls and falls and falls... and then slowly starts rising again and steps back onto the balcony. "It's great," he says, "You have to try it." The other guy's a little tentative, but he leaps. He falls and falls and falls and... splat! he hits the sidewalk. The first guy goes back inside and the bartender says, "You're a mean drunk, Superman."
If I spring a leak
1 day ago