"There's only one hard and fast rule in running: sometimes you have to run one hard and fast."

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Festivus Airing of Blog Grievances

Time to recognize some people I don't link to.

mmmonyka said she needed to marry an American to stay in the US, so I proposed in the comments of her blog. She said no. Apparently eastern Europe looks pretty good in comparison. Kinda hurt my feelings.

Pharmie called me a "Mountain Man" just because I don't shave to look like a 12 year-old boy, like triathletes do. We prefer to be called "hirsute-Americans." Also, her husband, Steve In a Speedo, for being a photographer who published only one blurry picture... and I was in it.

DrTriRunner repeatedly makes me feel like an ordinary creepy gross old guy (When I'm an extraordinary creepy gross old guy). At least she makes me feel like a tall ordinary creepy gross old guy.

PiccolaPinecone let me coach her and didn't run fast enough in the Montreal Marathon to make me look like a genius coach who could actually make a living from coaching.

Anyone who used the phrase "additional entry if you follow this blog." You know who you are.

Anyone who's considered funny because they link to someone else's humor site ("some e-cards," "I can has cheezeburger," etc.) I laugh - I admit it - but being funny is hard. Also, anyone who's considered funny because they're being gross; that's easy, though being funny despite being gross (like me) is hard. And Glaven Q. Heisenberg and Run Bitch Run, for often being funnier than I am.

Keith for being Keithy.

Anyone who disappears for months at a time and reappears to say they just won another race (ahem, Jamie and Helen).

Emz and ShutUpAndRun for having abs and showing them. If we meet, I'm never exhaling.

Xenia for being the only person I know on the internet whose real name I don't know.

Psyche (yes, that's her real name) and GeorgiaSnail for making me miss running all night on trails.

Diana of Potatoes and Yams for making me miss Holland, or maybe just tall blonde people wearing orange and riding bikes.

FastBastard for turning "I'm going to get paid more for working less, I'm going to be able to reunite my family and there's a baby on the way" into a complaint.

JojaJogger for not giving me anything to gripe about (except for running 100 miles faster than I have, but then THAT list of grievances is pretty long).


Steve Stenzel said...

Ha! That one blurry cover is the highlight of my career! (Nevermind the 4 projects I've done for the NY Times Magazine - which include one cover photo...)

Thanks for the link!

And I don't know Xenia's name either.... ;)

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

ZOMG!1! A couple years ago, Xenia did a podcast with Teh Marcy and a couple other knuckleheads like Mr. Vanilli of half-fast fame and in that podcast they revealed her first name, which, out of respect to her, I won't reveal. Just wanted to get all superior by letting you know I know it. As for her last name, it's Greek and roughly 14 letters long, but that's all I know about that.

And the only reason I know that is I guessed it was Poopadoopalous and she told me how close I'd come to her real name.

Now I'm pretty sure it's "Doopapoopalous".

The only other thing interesting about that podcast was that Teh Marcy sounded exactly like one of the other female bloggers. They both sounded like they'd just taken a hit of helium. And I kept wondering why Teh Marcy wasn't talking, but it turns out she WAS - she just sounded exactly like that other chick, so no one, including Mr. Vanilli, knew when it was Teh Marcy who was speaking. The other chick was the "The Lawsons Did Dallas" blogger chick, whose name I can't remember.

It was totally weird.

ShutUpandRun said...

And we love you for your humor, wit and honesty!!

Matthew Patten said...

I have a souring coffee stout you might like.

I wasn't good when I made it, and has been turning south ever since.

In 5 years, you might really like it.

Considering doing a "Steve Q" lambic or tripel for next year

RBR said...

See? And Steve Stenzel posting that picture (albeit blurry) is on my list of Blog Appreciations!

And you give yourself too much credit, you are very funny, but not at all gross. Sorry to burst your self-deprecating bubble.

Now that I have filled your inbox with my blather I will move on. :)

Keith said...

Don't look for a day, and see what happens? You get mentioned. Did you know Keithy is a real word? "A word used on the occasion when one person either forgets the name of another person in question, cannot be bothered using their real name or wants to make a spectacle of the person in a very boganish way.
This word is often used by tradesmen when speaking to either apprentices or fellow workers."

Sounds all perfectly cromulant to me.

SteveQ said...

I now know Xenia's name. (That last name IS a mouthful)

PiccolaPineCone said...

it says frightening things about my personality that my first reaction was honestly to apologize!
On a different note,
Merry Christmas Steve - I'm looking forward to Christmas in the midwest this year!

mmmonyka said...

I am sorry. Does it help to know that you are not the first guy I said no to? Well, I said yes to the first guy but dumped him after 5 years of being engaged so I did not have to stay in eastern Europe. I hope that cheers you up:)

Xenia said...

Stalkers, the lot of you.

GeorgiaSnail said...

I'm not so much the "run trails at night guy" as I am the "crew for those who run trails..." but I would gladly crew for you....

hope that didn't come accross as creepy....