Time to recognize some people I don't link to.
mmmonyka said she needed to marry an American to stay in the US, so I proposed in the comments of her blog. She said no. Apparently eastern Europe looks pretty good in comparison. Kinda hurt my feelings.
Pharmie called me a "Mountain Man" just because I don't shave to look like a 12 year-old boy, like triathletes do. We prefer to be called "hirsute-Americans." Also, her husband, Steve In a Speedo, for being a photographer who published only one blurry picture... and I was in it.
DrTriRunner repeatedly makes me feel like an ordinary creepy gross old guy (When I'm an extraordinary creepy gross old guy). At least she makes me feel like a tall ordinary creepy gross old guy.
PiccolaPinecone let me coach her and didn't run fast enough in the Montreal Marathon to make me look like a genius coach who could actually make a living from coaching.
Anyone who used the phrase "additional entry if you follow this blog." You know who you are.
Anyone who's considered funny because they link to someone else's humor site ("some e-cards," "I can has cheezeburger," etc.) I laugh - I admit it - but being funny is hard. Also, anyone who's considered funny because they're being gross; that's easy, though being funny despite being gross (like me) is hard. And Glaven Q. Heisenberg and Run Bitch Run, for often being funnier than I am.
Keith for being Keithy.
Anyone who disappears for months at a time and reappears to say they just won another race (ahem, Jamie and Helen).
Emz and ShutUpAndRun for having abs and showing them. If we meet, I'm never exhaling.
Xenia for being the only person I know on the internet whose real name I don't know.
Psyche (yes, that's her real name) and GeorgiaSnail for making me miss running all night on trails.
Diana of Potatoes and Yams for making me miss Holland, or maybe just tall blonde people wearing orange and riding bikes.
FastBastard for turning "I'm going to get paid more for working less, I'm going to be able to reunite my family and there's a baby on the way" into a complaint.
JojaJogger for not giving me anything to gripe about (except for running 100 miles faster than I have, but then THAT list of grievances is pretty long).
4 hours ago