"There's only one hard and fast rule in running: sometimes you have to run one hard and fast."

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Retire, Regret, Return?

It's hard to get used to the idea that my racing days are over; I keep looking at races to do next year and start making plans. Then I go for a run and quit early and stay retired. There's the injuries, of course, but there's other stuff that I just don't feel like writing about that's making it difficult to run.

The question I've been asking myself is: can I just run without training and racing and, if I can (and that's a big "if"), what's the point of the blog with the title "Run. Race. Repeat?" No one wants to hear about how I struggled with allergies today; how I had the day available and the weather was nice, so I planned a long run only to stop at 8 miles (at about 10 min/mile) with sore heels; how I'm easily fatigued because of anemia (long story not worth telling).

What I've been thinking is that the constant drone of complaint that this blog's become isn't exactly endearing. When I started this blog, I was running with others, but that hasn't happened much in the past year. I think I've been pushing people away - and stopping the blog is just one more way to do that.

I'm thinking that perhaps what I should do is just try to do what I can, try to get my head straight and enjoy the running I can do. Maybe I should start doing runs that are kind of enjoyable, try to describe them and (gasp!) post photos of them, start getting back on trails with friends just for the companionship.

I've always loved pushing myself hard, even too hard. Maybe now what I want is to post things that will make people say, "I want to run with that guy!"

That's a major personality change. Not sure I can do that.


Anonymous said...

Brett has unretired again!

John Kendrick said...

Sounds incredibly sane!

Scream'n Turtle said...

I know actually where you are coming from on this post Steve.

Been at this stage for awhile.
Re-invent your running wheel Steve.
Throw out what you don't like about running, and find what you do love about running.
Hard line to just go for a run, without a goal fueling it,
At least for me it is.
Keep your chin up,
best of luck.
Give it some time,
You'll know by then if you don't miss it & move on to something else, or need the running /or jogging just to feel better about yourself.

wildknits said...

Ah... sounds like I may be able to relive that day in April when I ran with Steve Quick!!

Anytime you want a tour of the SHT in Duluth give a shout. Sounds like our paces would be a good match ;->

Vince A. said...

We run with pain for a companion most of the time. That is the most compelling part of your story we can relate to.

Chris Swenke said...

I like many runners wonder why we get out of bed at 4am to run or hit the trails at 6am on some idle Saturday. We all wonder what pushes us into and out of pain, we all wonder what drives us to the run when we can't make it down our own stairs.

For me it is an elusive feeling that I only come across several times a year. It's that moment when all is pure, your heart is pumping, your legs are keeping rhythm and for a brief moment you do actually feel like your flying.

We all fight our own battles with our passion and we all continually find reasons to justify this addiction. Some of these battles may be external like injuries or justifying the time commitment to family or friends and others are internal, the ones that can't be written about in some blog the ones that are only answered as you storm through the "back 40". These answers, as is often the case, only promote new questions that push us on.

RBR said...

You know my opinion, so I won't belabor the point.

I can teach you the art of the ass self-portrait if you want. I think some of your readership may be interested.

From a purely scientific standpoint, of course. ;)

I will be back. First week of school. A bit of a madhouse around these parts.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

When I re-started up my quote-unquote "running blog", I decided I'd write about whatever I wanted. People could read it or not.

The people have spoken by staying away in droves.

Which is fine.

I also cut back drastically on the number of blogs I read. I mean, I'm down to like 5 I have in my Google Reader (though I read more than that in a typical week). One of the ones I never miss is this one.

Make of that what you will.

I also enjoy cutting myself. So don't go getting a big f*cking head over what I just wrote above.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

O - I'm back from vacation as of two hours ago. There will probably be a week's worth of posts on that.

runningspud said...

Steve: There's something inspiring about reading another's running journey, especially if that runner is going through something that others can relate to. Bad days happen to everyone.
I have no idea why people read my blog, but hundreds do it every day. And the more I write about the specifics of what I did that day, the more popular it becomes. Sometimes I don't think I would read my blog if I didn't write it.
My point is that you've got a lot of great experience and insight to share - and others want to read it. But don't do it for anyone other than yourself, and write about what you want. That's inspiring.