"There's only one hard and fast rule in running: sometimes you have to run one hard and fast."

Friday, June 4, 2010

Dating Freakshow Continuum

[I'll write about running again on Monday. I promise.]

Dr. Oliver Sacks wrote in one of his books about giving a lecture on how the brain does some function using visual memory. After the lecture, a man came up to him and said it was a nice theory, but couldn't be true, because he had no mental memory. Sacks thought that that was impossible until reminded that people born blind function without it. He not only had to admit he was wrong, but he'd discovered a man with a neurological defect he'd never even heard of which apparently had no effect - the man was a surgeon who led a completely normal life.

I have no visual memory. It's not known how common that defect is, but I didn't even realize I had the problem until I read about it. It usually has no consequences - I can describe something visually as well as anyone (such as in my race reports), but rather than picturing it and describing the image, I'm listing remembered facts about what it looks like. It does, however, occasionally lead to odd situations. For example, I saw a store had a linen sale and I decided to buy sheets, but I didn't know what color my bedroom was or what color the old sheets were - so I bought white, which I knew wouldn't clash.

One day, I was sitting in a cafe, reading, when I heard my girlfriend Lori's voice. I looked up and saw a stranger standing in front of me. She said - in Lori's voice - "I cut my hair." She thought I hadn't noticed, but the problem was I really didn't recognize her; I had to make the mental change of "my girlfriend has long mousy brown hair" to "my girlfriend has short blond hair."

Not being able to pick a loved one out of a crowd is a problem!

There's three ways to deal with that problem. 1) Date someone who doesn't mind that she might have to say something before you know who she is, even after you've been dating for years. 2) Arrange your life so these situations don't happen very often. 3) Date someone who can be easily identified. This third way is why "short skinny redhead" is the dating perfecta for me - all three descriptors are unusual, but acceptable. So, not intentionally, I have a "type."

Consider the alternatives:

Definitely! Ilsa Paulson was who started this thought train on a different blog. Yes, she could be mistaken for my (grand) daughter, but short and skinny works for me.

 Sure. (Anna cut her hair after this and looks better with short hair.)

Ummm. Okay. Eight hours a day exercising in front of a mirror's not my thing, but I could live with it. I've met Michelle (she's 4'11"); she seems pleasant enough.

Good lord. Not likely. (Though I would like to see her drive a car.)

I think not. For one thing, she probably looks exactly like everyone else she knows.

Been there, done that. Hope I know better now.

Hope you weren't eating when you read this!


ShutUpandRun said...

The color orange make her boobs look REALLY big.

Patrick Mahoney said...

cool post. new follower. I read somewhere you'd lose followers today. Not if I can help it.

sea legs girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sea legs girl said...

"a different blog" started the train of thought. Well, I do wonder which blog that could be. Geez, what am I? Smoked salmon? Actually that sounds pretty good.

And, btw, I totally agree with you about very spicy mustard, The Boston Red Sox, Rollercoasters and copper (principally because of its Cu abbreviation on the periodic table). I also agree with meeting "women smarter than I" (am) :). Happily not a rare event as we humans can be smart in so many different ways.

And just to prove it, I will point out a typo in your post. It should be "There ARE three ways to deal with that problem" not "there's three ways". :)

RBR said...

Ah, yes, the beloved skinny bitch. So you like them crazy, evil, fake red hair, and skinny?

You live in the wrong state, my friend. You need to move to mine.

I think that last girl was my roommate in rehab. She stole and sold my car when I OD'd the last time.

Quite a peach.

Plus she fit your other criteria: crazy, evil, and not yet dead. Although, from what I hear, she is still working on it.

FTR: Love the goth comment. So fucking true. Ultimate conformists in their rage against conformity. It is just another uniform my pale, pierced friends. Just another uniform.

SteveQ said...

@RBR - well, "crazy, evil, etc." is pretty much all that's left! Consider the commenters here: ShutUpandRun? Married. sea legs girl? Married. RBR? Married.

By the way, the car ran great and your roommate gave me quite a deal.

SteveQ said...

Okay, SLG... "three ways to deal with that problem" exists as one fact. Therefore, there IS three.

Grammatically incorrect, logically infallible!

SteveQ said...

Just occurred to me: all 6 pictures have one thing in common: piercing blue eyes (you'll have to trust me on a couple of those).

Xenia said...

Hey, I'm not married and I comment on this blog. Then again I am crazy and evil, so I guess I just proved you right. Oops.