"There's only one hard and fast rule in running: sometimes you have to run one hard and fast."

Monday, February 1, 2010

One Night Only

I did stand-up comedy briefly a long time ago and I still write jokes for others. Mostly, I think of something silly that could be easily added to any routine, but I recently came up with an entire 5 minute routine that stemmed from Tiger Woods, David Duchovny and others going to rehab for sex addicts. So, over the phone, I started, "Hi. My name's Steve... and I'm addicted to bad sex." Then came 20 jokes about trying to finish before the pizza delivery guy arrives, keeping socks on and letting the dog watch. The guy was laughing - hard - and it's really hard to make him laugh. He said, "Steve, you've got to do that routine! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard and only you could get away with it."

So, I did. My first stand-up this millenium, unannounced, just got the club owner to give me a few minutes with a mike. And the room was quiet. Cricket-chirping, tumbleweed-drifting quiet. I rushed through the material to get offstage as soon as possible and went backstage, where I was told it was great. So why didn't anyone laugh??? Turns out everyone there was on a date and it hit pretty close to home.

I've come up with a routine that only works if you're alone. That's not worth much. Guess I'll go back to the day job... (hey, quit laughing. I could have a day job!)


Mike Russell said...

Hey, don't ever worry about losing a follower. The title of my blog is just a smart ass reference to my days as a runner. It is alright if you don't love it.

Stand up is something I always wished I would have done when I was younger. Not sure what style would have fit me better, but man that would have been fun. Kudos to you for giving it a go!

ShutUpandRun said...

We love you anyway. Screw those first date people.

JF said...

I want to hear it! Stuff that makes other people uncomfortable usually tends to crack me up!

Jen said...

maybe you should come up with first date jokes... I know they are in you somewhere.

Chris said...

That takes some massive cahones to get up and do stand up. Id like to hear the routine too!