I did stand-up comedy briefly a long time ago and I still write jokes for others. Mostly, I think of something silly that could be easily added to any routine, but I recently came up with an entire 5 minute routine that stemmed from Tiger Woods, David Duchovny and others going to rehab for sex addicts. So, over the phone, I started, "Hi. My name's Steve... and I'm addicted to bad sex." Then came 20 jokes about trying to finish before the pizza delivery guy arrives, keeping socks on and letting the dog watch. The guy was laughing - hard - and it's really hard to make him laugh. He said, "Steve, you've got to do that routine! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard and only you could get away with it."
So, I did. My first stand-up this millenium, unannounced, just got the club owner to give me a few minutes with a mike. And the room was quiet. Cricket-chirping, tumbleweed-drifting quiet. I rushed through the material to get offstage as soon as possible and went backstage, where I was told it was great. So why didn't anyone laugh??? Turns out everyone there was on a date and it hit pretty close to home.
I've come up with a routine that only works if you're alone. That's not worth much. Guess I'll go back to the day job... (hey, quit laughing. I could have a day job!)
Raise the Jolly Roger
1 week ago