"There's only one hard and fast rule in running: sometimes you have to run one hard and fast."








Friday, February 26, 2010

Abuse Post

So, Glaven, you banged your flippers randomly on a keyboard for five months and you finally ended up here! Before you go waddling off to get help from the other half-formed fetuses in IT, leaving a trail of slime and degradation in your wake or even if you just stew in your own fetid excresence until your mommy comes running to help you "make the bad man go away," know that you will not be able to disappear and reappear without consequence. You will be mocked; roundly.

You go on riding Morrissey through the sewers of New Jersey, expecting to wind up in a German toilet next to Mickey Rooney (yeah, you're not the only one who's read Pynchon, you anachronistic avatar of acidulous spew. And you're not the only one who can name the three linguistic faux pas of this digression, either). You can take your John Frink catchphrases and your borrowed tropes back with you to whatever hellhole's been hiding you.

We've been preparing for your return. JoyRun, refreshed by not actually doing any running, is ready to match wits. Even Nic, the pretend doctor and now geekspawner is capable of making your comments seem the simple-minded babblings they actually are.

Don't be bringing that trash around these parts; we ain't buying. That said...

Good to have you back, buddy.

14 comments:

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ShutUpandRun said...

Who the eff is this guy?

Andrew said...

ShutUpAndRun,

Believe it or not it's one who's return to the blogoshere was much awaited!! I know, go figure.

joyRuN said...

HEY! I've been running, SQ.

True to that low mileage training philosophy, I've been running 20mpw.

GEEZ. You ultrarunners and your 70+mpw snobbery.

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Londell said...

Just had time this AM to do some reading catching up as I have been to busy loathing in self pity over a mechanical object, the scale. Thanks for the words which rang so true. This series of posts has realy got me thinking of all the things I have tried and what worked. I love that you express that same opinion as I do in that if two people were the same height, age, weight and gender and they ate the exact same and had the same workouts, that does not assure the same results... But placing concepts and ideas of what works for some allows us to test and know what is best for each one of us as a runner.

Write on...

SteveQ said...

I've deleted the homophobic slurs, G.

Got anything else?

SteveQ said...

@G: You need your own blog to properly showcase that blather. May I suggest "fetid excresence and acidulous spew" as a title?

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

I genuinely didn't realize they were coming across that way - as homophobic slurs.

I apologize.

It won't happen again.

Helen said...

A chocolate poll???? Can't wait to see where this is going...

Scream'n Turtle said...

Glaven Vs. Quick/ What and when is the boiling point? Might be the best race all year.
Go get him Steve, Like "Pitbull" on "cat"!

Christopher Swenke said...

I read this post and thought you might do well to purchase a set of these for some of your "friends":

http://www.youandmetheroyalwe.com/prod-aoc.html

Enjoy -