I had mentioned a planned rant, but when I'm mad, it's usually about something other than what I'm complaining about, so I looked at things from a fresh perspective.
People seem to look for something new, something more, something better or something profitable and each of those groups, if you're not one of them, are annoying. I come off as elitist and perfectionist, because I'm part of that third group.
What seemed to bother me was: I train for months, day after day, making sacrifices, just to find myself getting beaten in a race by someone who just heard of the race two weeks earlier and who's using it as training for a triathlon, or cross-country skiing. Then they go on to tell me that I really only need to do a couple of sprints and wear minimalist shoes and eat gluten-free, like them, and I'd do much better. They're lucky I don't kill them - really! - 35 years of working my ass off and you think you know better than me?
So, what's really bothering me?
I work that hard at a lot of things that others take for granted and I'd like, just once, for someone to appreciate it. I'm autistic. I got the official diagnosis just recently, but I've known for a decade. Just getting through a conversation can be exhausting for me. I work my butt off, day after day, with nothing to show for it - and that really bothers me, especially when others don't have to work at the same things at all and just assume that what's easy for them is easy for me.
So that's the rant.
Now on to more important things.
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5 comments:
My 13-year-old niece is autistic; I hope she'll be able to be half as successful in life as you are.
As for your running frustrations, six weeks of CrossFit and you'll be a world-beater! ;)
I'm with you on the running. I've come to realize that I don't have a shred of real natural running talent. I have to work HARD for any improvements. It is annoying to see people that have true talent and run times I only dream of with half-assed training. I wish I had just a little bit of that.
Karen, I have a slightly different problem, in that I used to be fairly fast (32 minute 10K). Of course, it's all relative - I just saw Sage Canaday ran a 2:21 marathon at age 21.
Steve,
I have been contemplating what you wrote. It is so easy to forget that what comes easy to some is a real battle for others. Especially when we are unaware of how hard it is (the person in question appears to do things with ease on the surface).
And I would note that you do have something to show for your efforts at conversation - friends!
I know that I have enjoyed our conversations over the years.
Really interesting post, Steve. Just finished The Rosie Project and found the whole subject of autism really interesting (the narrator is autistic). I love posts like this where I learn something about the writer that I would never have guessed otherwise. I totally understand your frustration - it happens to me, too.
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