"There's only one hard and fast rule in running: sometimes you have to run one hard and fast."








Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Bad Movie Compendium: A's only

I've been reading a lot of reviews of bad movies that are considered enjoyable. Most of them turn out to be mediocre, not bad. I thought I'd show my list of films - just those starting with the letter A - that I considered worth watching. There are hundreds I'm not mentioning because they just don't deserve mention. The films are all one-and-a-half stars or worse (out of 4) for quality, unless otherwise noted; the ratings given here are for watchability. And yes, I've actually watched all of these.

The Abductors (1972) ** Cheri Caffaro sleaze.
The Aberration (1997) * Mutant (rubber) lizards.
Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas [Two star movie!] (1957) ** Fun.
The Abomination (1986) * Weird and gory.
The Adult Version of Jekyll and Hyde (1972) * Porn.
The Adventurers (1969) ** Harold Robbins novel with Candice Bergen and Ernest Borgnine. Silly.
Airport 1975 (1974) ** The later sequels were more fun, but this should be seen to fully appreciate "Airplane!"
The Alcove (1984) * D'Amato has his fans; I'm not one of them.
Alice in Wonderland (1975) ** Porn musical!
Alice, Sweet Alice (1976) ** Brooke Shield's first film. Slow, but interesting.
Alien Intruder (1993) ** Watchable.
Alien Terminator (1995) 0* Not sure why some people like this.
All the Sins of Sodom (1968) ** For Joe Sarno fans.
Alone in the Dark (1982) ** Jack Palance, Donald Pleasance.
Alone in the T-Shirt Zone (1986) ** Weird. Not the romp the title suggests!
Alucarda (1977) * Just another vampire film.
The Amazing Colossal Man (1957) ** Sequel of sorts to Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman.
Amazon Jail (1982) 0* Worse than average women-in-prison film.
Amazon Women On the Moon (1987) ** Failed parody has its moments. Great cast.
Amazons (1986) * Lots of cleavage; little else.
The Ambushers (1967) * Dean Martin spy film. Smarmy time capsule.
American Beauty Hostages (1979) ** Bert Convy TV movie. Nuff said.
Amityville 4: the Evil Escapes (1989) ** Ludicrous. Patty Duke stars.
Amok Train (1989) * aka Beyond the Door III. If you liked the first two.
Andy Warhol's Frankenstein (1973) ** If it weren't so dull and gory, it would be better.
Angel (1984) ** High school student is a hooker. Kind of interesting! Had sequels.
Animalada (2001) ** Love story of a man and his sheep. (Yep.)
Anita: Swedish Nymphet (1973) [Two star movie!] ** Better than the title.
Anthropophagus (1980) * Another D'Amato film.
The Ape Man (1943) ** Bela Lugosi in a monkey suit. Silly fun.
Aphrodisiac: The Sexual Secret of Marijuana (1971) * Odd, but not interesting.
Apple Pie (1976) * Unusual cast: Calvert DeForest, Veronica Hamel, Irene Cara.
Arena Brains (1983) ** Weird experimental short.
Arrivederci, Baby! (1986) * Tony Curtis dark comedy.
Assassin of Youth (1937) ** Anti-marijuana film. Worth watching.
Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988) ** Exactly what you'd expect.
Assault of the Rebel Girls (1959) 0* Errol Flynn's last film. Not good.
The Astounding She-Monster (1957) ** More movie monsters should have large breasts.
The Astro-Zombies (1968) *** Unbelievably inept. My favorite part is the monster has to hold a flashlight to his head to keep his solar power going.
Atom Age Vampire (1960) * For Mario Bava completists only.
The Atomic Brain (1963) 0* Brain transplants.
Atragon [Two star movie!] (1963) ** Entertaining Japanese movie.
Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985) ** Slow, but with the silliest monsters in film history!
Attack of the 50 Ft Woman (1958) **** Watch this. Now. Skip the 1980's remake and similar titles (60 Ft. Centerfold, 5'2" Women, etc.) The film actually has social commentary! Bert I. Gordon remade the same movie many times, but this works.
Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) ** Slow, but definitely worth a look.
Attack of the Killer Refrigerator (1990) * Face it; you want to see how they could make this film. It actually has internal logic, but is more gruesome than necessary.
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) ** A parody of monster movies that fails (there's exactly two laughs), but which spawned sequels starring John Astin that seem to keep getting better!
Attack of the Mushroom People (1963) *** Japanese horror without Godzilla.
Attack of the Robots (1962) ** One of the better Jesus (Jess) Franco films.
Auntie Lee's Meat Pies (1992) * Sweeney Todd arena, with Karen Black, Pat Morita.
Avalanche (1978) ** Disaster film with Rock Hudson and Mia farrow.
Avenging Angel (1985) ** Sequel to "Angel" (q.v.) Not bad.
Avenging Eagle (1978) ** [Two star movie!] Shaw brothers martial arts film.
The Awful Dr. Orloff (1962) *** Jess Franco's best film.
The Aztec Mummy (1957) * Mexican horror. The campier semi-sequels are more watchable.

3 comments:

PiccolaPineCone said...

How can you be finished the A's and not have mentioned:

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum.

and

Attack of the killer tomatoes

SteveQ said...

@PPC: The first would be under "F" and the other IS in there. I did forget a couple, though.

Carilyn said...

I've never even heard of most of these! Hmmmm.... if I start watching now...