Jonesing to Race

I have never used the word "Jonesing" before - it has a nice 1974-ish ring to it.

I've had four or five good weeks of training and part of me just wants to go out and run a hard race somewhere. There's a race this weekend that I could probably win and which is so low-key that the results wouldn't get posted anywhere; plus, this is supposed to be the first Saturday with good weather since... well, I'd have to look it up, but I'd guess late May. I'm reading about everyone's upcoming races, especially the Superior races and I'm starting to see the first change in color on the trees, announcing that the fall racing season is here; it makes it hard to not race.

I told myself that I wouldn't race until I was ready. That's not until late October at the earliest and then the choices among races gets small. It's hard to think I'll skip the entire fall season.

Looking through my notes, I can find good reason not to head out to race now. While I've been improving fast, I'm now back to what I was considering terrible only a few years ago. I've been down so long, it was starting to look like a new "normal." Running a race now would only set my training back, risk injury and be frustrating. I'd have a finish time that would just confirm how far I have yet to go.

I'm going to try to channel the enthusiasm to race into my workouts, but delayed gratification? That's for grown-ups! I want to race now!