-Hi. You must be Darla.
"Rumtugger chukwalla Keith Urban wankfest."
-Wow. That's some Aussie accent! Let me guess: inland, Blue Mountains, maybe?
"Rod Laver's wombat lovechild?"
-Because on the coast they make every sentence sound like a question. Oh. I hope that doesn't make you self-conscious.
"Bandicoot vegemite. Yahoo Serious?"
-I'm very local. I bought my parents' house. I don't change much. I still have my baby teeth and my last girlfriend's buried in my cellar.
[laughs] "Fire opal snotbubble?"
-Yeah, it was a test, I guess. You laughed and didn't look like I might mean it.
"I guess that means I can quit the accent, too. You seem like a pretty decent guy. Tell you what: I'm going to check you out online and make sure you're not some guy who makes jokes about Australia being just the Sydney Opera House and koalas and, if you're not some loser who thinks he's an athlete because he runs, I'll give you a call."
She hasn't called yet.
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Raise the Jolly Roger
1 week ago