"There's only one hard and fast rule in running: sometimes you have to run one hard and fast."








Wednesday, September 8, 2010

On Training, Dating and the Rules of Attraction

First, the training. I ran 74 miles in the past seven days, a bit of an increase from the 28 and 16 in previous weeks. One doesn't make that jump without some adjustments. I slowed down to a glacial pace, especially during runs after meals (I still haven't figured out how ultrarunners manage to run and eat) and I had to start stretching to keep from having my right hip, my hamstrings and both achilles tendons ache. The plan is to get used to the two-a-day short runs and then try to shift the mileage into longer runs. Only 53 weeks until the 2011 Superior 100! I'm planning, if the car allows, to be between Sugarloaf and Temperance on Saturday morning, if you want to find me out on that course.
...................
After Jenny and I went our separate ways, I've found what I miss most is having someone else filter all the weird ideas that float through my head. I've been writing and then deleting posts all week. This one actually looks promising. I started thinking about dating again and, at this point, I'm doing a lot more thinking about dating than actual dating. I recently met a woman and the thought went through my mind: does she pass the "friend's acceptability test?" Then I thought that it's probable that no one else on the planet's ever thought about this quite the same way.

Well, maybe Jimmy Soul did.





Men don't really want to end up with beautiful women - they're just too much work! Ideally, you want someone that makes your friends say something like, "Yeah, she's okay... not my type, but she's all right." That's exactly what went through my mind when I met the women my friends Scott and Chuck ended up marrying. My own choices haven't usually been met with that response.

My first girlfriend, Stacy, I didn't bother introducing to friends or family. I was just getting used to people in the street staring at her; at 5'4" and at most 85 lbs., people stared like the circus had come to town. There was no chance she was going to be considered acceptable by any of my friends (and I didn't care... much).

On the opposite end of the spectrum was Dannie. A mutual friend of ours, on finding out we were dating, pulled me aside and said, "Steve, she's gorgeous, but you know she's crazy, don't you?" She'd turned her apartment into an altar and watched a TV not tuned to any station, so, yeah, I knew she was crazy. But, as one gets older, the pickings get slim (God help the woman who thinks I'm a catch at this point) and I do okay with some craziness.

There are different types of attractiveness. There's the "cute," which means either young, small or babyfaced; the babyfaced do not age well. There's "pretty," which generally suggests health and is usually more a matter of coloring than anything else - often leading to the "without makeup shock." And there's the "beautiful," which is all about symmetry and proportion and tends toward the bland and uninteresting. Lastly, there's the "exotic," which don't manage to fit into the other categories, but include those who catch one's attention just by being different.

Here's two minor celebrities I've met. One was trying to promote an Italian horror film she'd been in by being seen in the hot clubs and restaurants. The other I met after she gave a talk at the Center for Holocaust Studies. Guess which one I thought was "dateable." Hint: ladies don't sit like that.





























Now, when it comes to what women claim they're looking for, "funny," "smart," "kind" and "reasonably fit" are the buzzwords. Hey! Over here! Stop staring at the paunchy dullard with the black credit card - he's married and under investigation for fraud.

So, back to where I started. I met this woman and she was cute, pretty, beautiful and exotic. She was also bright, charming and funny. So, a keeper, right? Nope - high class hooker.

12 comments:

Emz said...

FREAKING hilarious.

"Yeah, YOU'RE okay... not my type, but YOU'RE all right."

Awesome. ;)

ShutUpandRun said...

I have always steered clear of those hot guys b/c I think they're probably dicks and full of themselves. Also maybe out of my league. I go for the cute, smart, humourous ones and it's never done me wrong. I agree, it's hard to not have the person to shoot around your ideas with - bounce things off of. Kind of lonely.

76 freaking miles in a week? Who has time to date?

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

ZOMG, that picture reminds me of the time I used the phrase "chucking a spread" in front of Teh 'Bride and she had no idea what it meant and so i told her but she has, from that day to this, insisted I said "Chopping a spread" - which is absurd - and now she'll always say to me: "Look at that woman over there choppin'!"

I think my next post is gonna be on the issue of choppin'/chuckin'.

Colin said...

Ok, so I don't really have anything to add to your post -- it was entertaining as always. And what exactly did I find the most amusing?

From today: "I ran 74 miles in the past seven days, a bit of an increase from the 28 and 16 in previous weeks"

Compare this to your Pfitzinger post a while back: "The biggest problem with the schedule as given is that it starts at 60 miles per week and builds to 85 in only 12 weeks. That's a sure-fire way to get injured."

So adding 46 miles in one week is OK, but adding a total of 25 over 12 weeks will get you injured?

Then I remembered your stellar recent record of injury-free running ...

If I may, I suggest hiring one Steve Quick as your coach -- and actually listening to what he says! This self-coaching experiment of yours seems doomed to failure ...

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

Ford's name was NOT Leslie King when he became preznit.

Mike Russell said...

Dude, you are my hero. When I ever get thrown back into the dating scene, I am going to run 75 miles per week to just beat the urge to date out of myself.

Jean said...

I got to the last paragraph and just about choked on the Chex Mix I was eating. LOL!

Great post, Steve.

Londell said...

You are one bold man, writing about women... BTW, the poll, Grover Cleveland went by his middle name... I knew that and looks like I am the only correct vote, so far... That is what I get for having an anal 6th grade teacher. Had to name all of them, first middle and last and dropped one 10% for each one wrong...

SteveQ said...

@Emz: we don't all go for the 6'8" guy in uniform...

@ShutUpandRun: And that coming from the woman who drooled over Dean Karnazes when she ran with him.

@Colin: Yeah, we both know how stupid I can be.
........
btw, took Miss Brainiac to see the Italian horror film! Doesn't hurt to look...

RBR said...

"Yeah, she's okay... not my type, but she's all right."

You may not want to lead with that at the bar. I am just saying...


Well, at least you called me a 'high class' hooker

;)

Re: your comment - Yes, civet cat is redundant and brown ants have formic acid too, smarty pants.

SteveQ said...

@RBR: I said the hooker was "bright, funny and charming." How could you think that was you?

RBR said...

Ouch.

*sniff*

Wait...

Me thinks the man doth protest too much.