10 Things That Make Me Happy

1.) That no one tagged me to list 10 things that make me happy.
2.) Schadenfreude.
3.) That one of the "intellectual properties" NBC took from Conan O'Brien is "Masturbating Bear."
4.) Vicious sarcasm.
5.) General snarkiness.
6.) People who see "Eraserhead" and say "I thought of you."
7.) Nearly busting a lung running uphill as hard as possible.
8.) Nearly busting a quad running downhill as hard as possible.
9.) Beating the snot out of more talented, better-trained runners.
10.) [Can't be published without serious risk. Ask me sometime when I blow by you in a race.]