"There's only one hard and fast rule in running: sometimes you have to run one hard and fast."

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Looking For Mr. Goodblog

I had a really bad date recently. Not "she stabbed me with a fork" bad, but it got me thinking about how much I hate dating. Dating should be spending time getting to know someone, not putting on a false front to which you plan to cling right up until divorce court. There's a connection to blogging here, though maybe I'm pushing it a little.

Blog content

People like blogs with photos. I don't post photos, but I do enjoy seeing those of others and I'm sure more people would visit if I did post some. Interestingly, blogs with just photos aren't popular; there has to be some context.

People also like links to other sites of interest. I don't do much of that, either.

A thousand people have visited this blog! Those who return do it because there's information they can use and often some entertainment value (though right now my running career looks like a trainwreck in progress) or because they know me and want to keep in touch.

Blogs I read, blogs I don't

The blogroll on the left is what it says it is: people I've seen on trails. Two of the active ones I only glance at once a month, some I check regularly. There are blogs I do read often which I wouldn't link (one is a kindred spirit whose husband really hates me). There are popular running blogs I ignore; Olga should run more, blog less, for example - I don't know why, but her blog just never interests me, though we have a lot of contacts in common. If she's ever visited, I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

The dating connection

Most people never start blogs and those who do often quit because they feel they have nothing to say. The important thing, I think, is to say who you are, not what you do. Most people's everyday lives are pretty dull, but each person's thoughts about their lives can be interesting. I blog because I'm not afraid of people learning who I am.

I love the little idiosyncrasies in people that take a lifetime to learn. I throw Frisbees left-handed, but throw baseballs right-handed; how many years would you have to know me to find that out? Sometimes you have to read a lot of blather in someone's blog to find what makes them tick; then it gets interesting. That blather is what I hate in dating.

What makes me tick

Psychological shorthand:

I'm a typical youngest of a large family. I'm easy going and get along well with difficult personalities. I defuse tense situations with humor. Most first-borns find me directionless and lacking ambition at first.

On the Meyers-Briggs test, I'm a typical INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceptive). That's the rarest type and almost unheard of for a scientist. We're dreamers and mystics, who drift along until something upsets one of the few things they hold dear - then watch out! We never finish anything we plan and tend to be disorganized. We make great poets.

I'm on the autistic spectrum. I can't read body language and I have trouble looking people in the eye (which makes first dates and job interviews tricky). I have to really work at communicating; I think I've made a total of five phone calls this year which weren't call-backs. [This is one of the reasons I blog. I say a lot here I would never say otherwise.] I have trouble with focus, so I ramble when I talk. I work extremely hard at not appearing autistic.

I went through college and grad school on fellowships and scholarships, due to an ability to do well on standardized tests. I passed mock LSAT and MCAT tests without any preparation.

My first girlfriend starved to death. That pretty much screwed me up for life.

Any questions (other than: how's the ankle)?


keith said...

I keep reading your blog because it tests the standards of my definition of masochism.


Wow. That final statement! That makes for one big awkward silence.
I can see why you choose to blog.

I find something familiar in nearly everything you said...from being the youngest child to the weird left/right handed thing. (I'm opposite of you.)

Oh, and I think you should look to date someone that can help with that ankle.

RunWesty said...

I read your blog because you do crazier things than I do - i.e. I have never run on a broken ankle. I have run on a sprained ankle, torn cartilage and a torn ligament but never a break or crack.

I too am a youngest, same on the mb but I can make eye contact, just don't like too and I run alone because i like too.

Your blog is one of the most entertaining to read, it is well written, insightful and informational for me a newbie ultra runner.

Runningdoctor said...

Steve, I used to have a blog where I, over a two-year span, told the honest-to-god truth about divorce, loneliness and falling in love. I wouldn't get a million readers; but almost every day, someone would find it and read all the way through, taking up to two hours to do so. It ended up freaking me out to the point where I scrapped the old blog and started over.

My point is, though, that I always kept things anonymous, whereas you do not. That's very admirable.

Anyway, we love your blog and do check it every day. But we love Olgas, too.

Runner Brewer said...


As I said before, I think the reason I enjoy your company is because you are so much like my older brother.

I always said he was to smart for his own good.

I see things on the trials which I know will catch your attention, like the elephant rock at Ice Age. I knew you would be intrigued by that.

You are a little like Bart Simpson in the vampire episode when he is running away up the stairs. He passes a lever labeled "Super Happy Fun Slide". He says "I know I shouldn't, but when will I ever be here again?" He pulls the lever and he slides down into the grips of the vampires. But, the ride was great.

That is totally you.

Diane said...

I had a friend who used to talk about people at the bar who were always looking for a date as looking for "Mr. Goodbar". It wasn't until I looked up the movie that he and I realized that most likely very few are literally looking for the person the phrase represents.

I thoroughly enjoy your blog: your sense of humor, your straightforwardness (I know if you think I'm an idiot you'll say so, probably to everyone. I might not like that too much, but at least I won't be left wondering where you stand).

To me dating feels too forced, like I'm at a job interview. I'd rather just hang out with friends and acquaintances and be happy when I find ""Mr. Goodbar"".

Oh, and I'm also a INFP.

SteveQ said...

Diane, I'd never tell people you're an idiot! You finished the Superior 100 and didn't tell anyone, for fear they'd think you were a little crazy - that's smart! If I finish, I'll have a press conference (probably from a hospital bed).